Gender is the most pervasive classification of individuals and thus strongly defines couple relationships. Cultural discourses on couple relationships reproduce hierarchical gender differences, and couple distress is often linked to gendered power inequalities. At worst, gender is the basis for intimate partner violence (IPV). Generally, however, therapeutic interventions do not address the issues of gender and gendered power. This paper discusses the meaning and functions of gender in the context of couple therapy, in particular for IPV. It is argued that the therapist needs to be skilled in discursive deconstruction to be able not only to address the client’s situation as an individual experience but also to locate it in the wider social and cultural context. Addressing the gendered positioning of others and themselves is a clinical tool of potential value in therapeutic conversations.