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other, the psychic porousness that anchors individual identity and tethers intersubjective relationality to the unconscious and its unintelligible strangeness. Following Lacan, the extimacy that I explore extends, apart from conscious markers of identification, such as gender and sexuality, to the unconscious attractions that allow individuals to relate to each other in shared spaces where the conscious ego dissolves. This extimate strangeness is both compatible with the subjective necessity to periodically engage with abjection and exceedingly threatening to our 21

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of highly scrutinised migration. At the crossroads of intimacy and ‘extimacy’ (French extimité , the sharing or self-exposure of one’s intimate self with others, see Tisseron, 2001 ), this article offers an insight into how ordinary people capitalise on legal-administrative know-how and counterbalance the limitations of family government. How does this happen in a globalised and interconnected world where the state still retains a circumscribed conception of what a family is and the rights that derive from this status? How does this mould the many facets of

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–daughter dependence, independence and interdependence in everyday teaching and writing projects. In sorting through the productive and unproductive manifestations of these formative relationships, we are doing what the English philosopher Gillian Rose (1995) has called ‘love’s work’. This is spoken to eloquently by Erica Galiato in her article when she speaks of the necessity of extimacy and abjection – terms surely no one would expect to hear when thinking about intimate pedagogy! Of necessity, love’s work entails a destabilising and painful ongoing encounter with the

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