‘Do I score points if I say “no”?’: Negotiating sexual boundaries in a changing normative landscape
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Recently #MeToo visualised worldwide the scale of sexual coercion and the connection of sexual coercion to gender norms and power structures. Negotiating sexual interactions with a partner is deeply intimate, yet it is also fundamentally influenced by surrounding social norms. We conducted in-depth interviews with 68 ethnically diverse Dutch young men and women (16–21) about their sexual experiences to understand how norms and values shape their sexual negotiations. Narratives showed the continued relevance of heteronormative gender roles, with participants framing sexual negotiations as a contest between opposing sides, dictated by different rules for women and men. Other narratives suggested that the normative landscape may be changing, with women drawing on discourses of autonomy and men using mutuality as a guiding principle. Our findings indicate that while conventional gender norms and scripts continue to prescribe sexual negotiations, many Dutch youth also exercise alternative discourses in their sexual relationships. Efforts to reduce sexual coercion must incorporate attention to both the old and emerging gender norms that govern sexual negotiations.
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